Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Case of the Fuck-Its and Presence

So what do you do when you look around and all you see is crap. The economy sucks, politicians are either insane or spinning their wheels and all you want is more sleep, more coffee and a cigarette. Okay besides the last one, all are really needed.
It's the bringing of the semester and I already feel the pull of what i call my mild state of depression that comes about every fall. It's call the fuck-its; as in 'Fuck It'!
We'll thank the goddess that I've done years of introspection and shadow work so i can sense these things coming along sooner than i would back in my Freshman year! Or is it just the process of growing up that allows one to feel things more subtlety. Either way, now that I've caught myself bring pulled into a void where nothing really is good, i can make a conscious effort and engage my Will. Yoga in the morning helps. Remembering to breath helps but what does the best is showing up. Going to class. Brushing my teeth. Doing my assignments. These small acts showing up to my work help develop my little will. So when the world seems to big and all of my classes are demanding the major course projects due within 3 days of each other, and i foolishly pick up 2 extra shifts at work that week, i can call upon that my Will power and not push against the world but go with it and hopefully nudge myself in the direction i want and need to go in.
So in these days where assignments are not terribly long, and work is easy and extra curricular projects are just starting, let us tend to these things with gentle focus. Daily practice is a must. Just as one tends a fire, we must maintain a sense of presence. When the crow comes and you need to build the giant festival bon fire, you will know how to manage it because you know everything about the small fire.