Saturday, September 27, 2008

Autumn Euforia

I just can't help it any more. I must express the way the Fall makes me feel. It is such an assault on my senses. The changing visual experience, the multitude of aromas, the final fruits of the season, and the wonderful chill of the outdoors. There's something distinctly 'fall' about walking around outside, and seeing the wonderful contrast between the evergreens and the on-fire colors of the oak, birch, and maple trees. Sun set yellows, flaming oranges, ruby reds, and finally earth browns hang from trees like tiny flames. They fall in gentle cascades with each chilling breeze. I bring my faded green jacket closer to me as the sounds of the seasons play in my head. Possession, Pathway of Thorns, and Fear all by Sarah McLachlan all remind me of autumn. Some Brandi Carlile and some Damien Rice on the cloudy days. Butterfly Boucher and Nickle Creek on the cold sunny ones. It wonderful to walk in the ever changing woods and listen to the music and the trees.

The tastes of fall are even more delicious than the sounds. Minnesota apples are now in season and Honey Crisp are the best out of all of them. Hybrid by nature their sugary flavor blends so well with it's crispy flesh
. The Honey Crisp's parents are the Macoun form Canada and the Honeygold, another hybrid. The Honey Crisp are by far the pinnacle of apple genetics. Great for eating or baking. It's no wonder I just payed $10 for one bag. They'll get cheaper once they've come into the peck of their season, about mid October thru November.

I love the fact how connected to nature we still are. The colors of fall are all those found in our foods and in our surroundings. The trees, the gourds, the candy, the pies. Mum... pies. Mom will be making pumpkin pies soon. Once when Mom was making a pumpkin pie I asked if the batter was any good. She said no but of course her answer wouldn't be enough for me. So I took the empty mixing bowl and scrapped my finger along the side. The thick orange-ocher batter clung to my finger. It smelled of cinnamon, nutmeg, and all spice. I licked it from my finger and soon regretted the decision. Not Good. Just as mom said. When your mom tells you something is bad, listen to her.

Halloween and Thanksgiving are just around the corner. So are mid-terms. And while I anticipate these joyous and not so joyous events I will consume myself among the senses and traditions of Autumn. I will wade myself among the piles of dead leaves and inhale the cool, spicy night air. I invite you to come and indulge in all that this season has to offer.

Blessed Be.

~CHUCK

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Lilith

I have always wanted to write about each season and now that the leaves have just started to turn colors I feel that It's time for me to write about Fall. But I'll wait i week or two to write about autumn cause the leaves have not yet begun to... well fall. So instead i will tell the story of a woman scorned. Her name is Lilith. She is considered to be the first wife of Adam by ancient Jewish texts. She was also said to created before Adam. That being said...

"Creator took the soft earth, mixed it with the rains, and formed the first. She was named Lilith and Creator told her that she was to bring spirit to all things in the universe. So she walked the earth and spoke to the trees, the rocks, the rivers. She told stories to the bothers and sisters of the air, earth, and sea. And when she was done and everything was endowed with spirit, she looked at the world and saw that all the creatures were wild and full of chaos. She turned to Creator and asked "Why did you have me bring spirit to all of these beings only to make them wild and uncontrollable."

From that Creator took the hard clay, the raging oceans, and made the second. He was named Adam. Creator told Adam to tame and rule over all things wild. And that he did. And for a time their was peace.

When Lilith met Adam she saw what the other creatures of the land did and fell to the same urges. But when Adam went to place himself on top of her, she stopped him. He was confused and angry. But she exclaimed that because they were made from the same things that they should make love as equals. But Adam did not agree. He said that Creator told him it was for him to rule and dominate over all things wild. And when he went to lay on top of her again she pushed him away saying that if he was to not see her as an equal, then they would never share the same bed.

And with that she called to Owl. Owl took Lilith away from Adam and flew to a mountain cave where she could watch and wait for Adam to change his ways. Adam asked Creator to retrieve Lilith and Creator sent three spirits to find her. They came to her in the mountain and said that if she wasn't to return to Adam then they would cause the mountain to fall upon her. She replied saying that the only way she would return is if Adam would see her as an equal for they are both made from earth and water.

The spirits went to Adam and told them of Lilith's request. He declined. The spirits returned to Lilith's cave but found it empty. She had seen Adam's refusal of equality and asked for Owl to take her into the night sky. Adam looked to the darkened night sky and saw Lilith fly into the clouds. Lighting flashed and thunder roared and it begin to rain for Lilith was crying tears of sorrow. Adam was sad as well, but not for Lilith, but because he was now alone.

Creator saw that Adam was sad and said it was not good for Adam to be alone. So he gathered more earth, and more water, breathed life into it and made Eve. Creator gave Eve no instructions but told her the story of Adam and Lilith. Eve took pity on Adam and slept with him."

And there is the story of Lilith, as seen by me. True or not, it's a story. Can you tell I'm a feminist. There are many myths revolving around Lilith, but they all depict her as strong and free willed. So next time you see a woman defiled, a woman trading in what she belives is right, treated unfairly because of sex, think of Lilith and remember her tale. Even though Lilith is now alone, she can still be found in every girl defining gender roles, in women fighting for equal pay, in people fighting for choice. In everyone knowing that everyone, man or woman, is equal and deserves to treated as such.

~CHUCK

Monday, September 22, 2008

Soul Mirror

I don't look into the mirror because i already know what is there... and i don't like it. It is slow, painful, ugly and radiant. It is a shining soul that is filled with limitless opportunity but I've covered it with laziness, with pride of all types. I've taken this beautiful Creation of spirit and turned away from the lessons i need to learn. I've covered it with earth and called it God.

Blasphemous. I know. But I'm not ashamed to admit it. See more pride. and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to cover up something that creator made and helped along with blessing and gilding spirits and turned it into a cycle of depression and mania. I've taken the light and bent it to serve me. I've taken everything I've ever had, not for granted, but for obsession. I've taken all these possessions and materials and built them into me. And call it a hypocrite but I've touched the light, I've been in the light. And I will no longer keep holding myself down with the excuses of privilege and sloth. I can't keep feeding the potential with toxins and watch it turn into cancer.

I've learned so much these last few years about Creator, spirits, the past, power, knowledge and now it is time for me to apply these facts. I will take what I've learned, what I've seen, what I've felt and remove the dirt. I will expel the poisons. It will be hard. It will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do but it needs to happen before I create a consequence so dire i might not feel i have the strength to return form.

Do not worry about me. Don't think about me till I tell you otherwise. I need time... our most precious commodity... to purge and show myself what I've always known. I need to work and sweat and feel the pain. For I know on the other side of the pain is a gift so brillant, it will be more than worth it.

Stories

Muriel Rukeyser, poet, activist, feminist, Jew, wife, mother once said "The universe is made of stories, not atoms." This rings true in every aspect of my life. Just as atoms bind all of matter together, it is stories that bind all of humanity into one great web of life. Everything is connected. That's easy. When we look at these connections we find that they're events, relationships... stories.

When I talk to people about my family or friends, it always comes down to me telling a story or two. About the times at Kaliey's cabin, about the great great grandmother getting drunk on Jewish new-year. About Aunt Kathy's pies and Mom's brain saying she's done. About how i knew you when... or you remember that time....

Everyone has these stories. Everyone has their events, their places... their people. We love these people because of the stories they give us. When we're not near them it's the memory, the story that makes them special to us. We hold it in our heart, and replay it in our minds, and retell the stories to others. These create the connections that hold us together.

Resently at my aunts funeral, I told her that I would never forget her stories. That I'd bake her pies and cookies. That I would write them down so I would never have to forget what a wonderful sister, mother, grandmother, aunt, friend, spirit she was and is. I will have a problem when descibing her for I don't know weither to use past or present tense. Either way, the story will be wrote, read, reread, told and retold. I will tell the stories to my friends. I will share them with my family. I will eat them in her pies. I will live them with my actions.

This blog may contain a story or two of Aunt Kathy. I may contain a story or two about you. Either way it will contain stories that will bring all who know me closer to what makes our relationship, our story, even closer.

Chuck