Soul Mirror

I don't look into the mirror because i already know what is there... and i don't like it. It is slow, painful, ugly and radiant. It is a shining soul that is filled with limitless opportunity but I've covered it with laziness, with pride of all types. I've taken this beautiful Creation of spirit and turned away from the lessons i need to learn. I've covered it with earth and called it God.

Blasphemous. I know. But I'm not ashamed to admit it. See more pride. and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to cover up something that creator made and helped along with blessing and gilding spirits and turned it into a cycle of depression and mania. I've taken the light and bent it to serve me. I've taken everything I've ever had, not for granted, but for obsession. I've taken all these possessions and materials and built them into me. And call it a hypocrite but I've touched the light, I've been in the light. And I will no longer keep holding myself down with the excuses of privilege and sloth. I can't keep feeding the potential with toxins and watch it turn into cancer.

I've learned so much these last few years about Creator, spirits, the past, power, knowledge and now it is time for me to apply these facts. I will take what I've learned, what I've seen, what I've felt and remove the dirt. I will expel the poisons. It will be hard. It will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do but it needs to happen before I create a consequence so dire i might not feel i have the strength to return form.

Do not worry about me. Don't think about me till I tell you otherwise. I need time... our most precious commodity... to purge and show myself what I've always known. I need to work and sweat and feel the pain. For I know on the other side of the pain is a gift so brillant, it will be more than worth it.