For the victims and the community members of Newtown, Connecticut
this is a very dark time. As you know twenty children and seven adults were murdered
in the elementary school on last Friday. I wish to extend my deepest compassion
and greave with you in the days and night ahead. I know what it like to lose a
family member long before you expect them to pass on. To lose a child must be one
of the worst experiences. There will be days when it will not make sense when
sun rises. It will confuse you when others go about their lives as if nothing
has changed and there is a giant space left in the wake this event. I can only
wish you comfort, support, and solace in the days, months, years, a head.
For those of us with children, please hug them extra hard in
this time of grieving. When you see loved ones for Chanukah, Solstice,
Christmas, Kwanzaa, or whatever winter time holy day you celebrate, hold them
tight and thank your stars they are still here in your life.
One of the reasons why this has captivated the nation as
deeply as it has is because it involves children. These were innocent children in
kindergarten. Children are blessings. They are our future. I have advocated
many times for every child to be a wanted child. I have also adopted the belief
that children are special for their innocence, for their gifts of creativity, inclusiveness,
empathy; their way of making the illogical seem sensible and hilarious. So to
see these children gunned down in a place where they are meant to learn and grow;
in a safe space where they are told to play and learn at the same time, is so horrendous
it is surly an unquantifiable loss.
To place this in a bit of prospective I’ve recently seen the
statistic that the city of Chicago “had 488 homicides
this year…The Iraq war alone has a conservative estimate of civilian deaths at
105,052 from March 2003 to 2012.” That last one would mean that roughly 31
people are killed every day in Iraq. How much is coverage of these deaths is
the press giving to these murders, these acts of violence? Can we say really
say these deaths are culturally sanctioned because it is a war, like that makes
it okay, verse the deaths of these children right here on our door step?
These are big questions and I don’t
know if there are answers to them (but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to
find some solutions).
As tragic events are want to do this
has sparked controversy. The battle over gun control verse personal freedoms is
now well on its way. Like same-sex marriage and abortion we all know what the facts
are, what the opinions are, and what lies in a moral/ethical gray area. For
each individual this gray area is going to look a little different (if it not
black or white for someone). Like all controversies, the way to getting to
moving beyond the dualism is not by rehashing the same arguments but by finding
the systemic roots. I think for gun-control it is not talking about regulations
(because of freedom issues) but rather about helping those who have mental
illnesses. I believe Hanna Hart (My Drunk
Kitchen) says it best on her secondary channel yourharto.
In the cases of mass shootings we
need to talk about the issues surrounding the events. In this case access to
mental health care for the mentally ill is a key topic. We need to talk about being
a bully, what that looks like and how that effects our peers, and accepting and
loving people for who they are. We need to encourage and support these individuals
to seek counseling and to feel free to talk about what is troubling them, free
of judgment. We need to be creating a
culture where it is okay to be different. We need a culture that does not shame
the mentally ill or the depressed. I think children, specifically small children,
say kindergarteners, can help us adults learn how to be more empathic towards
others. This, I believe, can make a huge impact in the amount of violence, specifically
physical violence, which is acted out in our society. This will greatly
decrease the number of mass shootings.
I do think some of our laws in our country are inherently
wrong. I don’t understand why we are free to purchase weapons but not raw milk.
I why is it legal for me in Lakeville, MN (a suburb of MLPS/St. Paul) to own
several guns but not several chickens? I come from a family of hunters and
therefor have many family members who own a number of hunting rifles. This is
how they acquire food for their family. This is sustainable and wonderful. Why
can I not own a small flock of chickens? Why can I buy tobacco or alcohol but
not marijuana? I can eat myself into diabetes, obesity, and oblivion by eating
nothing but fast food and potato chips but it is next to impossible to feed
myself and my family with local/organic foods. I think we have many freedoms in
this country and for that I am glad but the access and ability to nourish
ourselves is severely limited to those who have upper-class privilege.
Do we really want a culture where it is easier to destroy ourselves
than to nourish, restore, and support each other?
These are questions I think we really need to
be asking ourselves, each other, and those who make our laws. I really hope
this tragedy will help open our eyes as a nation to how much damage this
illusion of autonomy (which is the idea that we are separate from everything
i.e. the environment, our food system, our political system, our neighbors) is
doing. When we don’t see how much pain and hurting the people in our
communities are in, these are the kinds of events that transpire. When we think
we are not involved in the lives of other we don’t notice the next door
neighbor who is struggling with depression and mental illness. We also don’t
notice the family struggling to make ends meet. We don’t see the number of fish
in our rivers and lakes are diminishing because of the industrial agriculture
chemicals and roadside run off. There are just a few examples but you see what
I mean.
I know we can’t go
around making sure everybody is okay all the time (I would never ask that of
anyone) but we can be more compassionate towards one another for sure. This
means not being a judgmental ass-hole or telling someone to just “get over it”.
Sometimes people have real problems and telling them to pick themselves up and move
on is not the right response and actually worsens their psychological condition
on a biological level. I believe we do need to get thicker skins but also we
need to be more compassionate. It’s a two way street that leads to greater
empowerment and stronger communities.
Now is the time to be with our loved ones. It is almost the
winter solstice and I can’t wait to celebrate it with dear friends. I love
spending Christmas with my family and will miss my sister while she is in
Tulsa, OK. I will see friends on New Year’s and ring in 2013 with hopes and
intentions for a brighter more peaceful future.
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