Sunday, December 16, 2012

Prayers for Newtown and Thoughts for The Future



For the victims and the community members of Newtown, Connecticut this is a very dark time. As you know twenty children and seven adults were murdered in the elementary school on last Friday. I wish to extend my deepest compassion and greave with you in the days and night ahead. I know what it like to lose a family member long before you expect them to pass on. To lose a child must be one of the worst experiences. There will be days when it will not make sense when sun rises. It will confuse you when others go about their lives as if nothing has changed and there is a giant space left in the wake this event. I can only wish you comfort, support, and solace in the days, months, years, a head.

For those of us with children, please hug them extra hard in this time of grieving. When you see loved ones for Chanukah, Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, or whatever winter time holy day you celebrate, hold them tight and thank your stars they are still here in your life.

One of the reasons why this has captivated the nation as deeply as it has is because it involves children. These were innocent children in kindergarten. Children are blessings. They are our future. I have advocated many times for every child to be a wanted child. I have also adopted the belief that children are special for their innocence, for their gifts of creativity, inclusiveness, empathy; their way of making the illogical seem sensible and hilarious. So to see these children gunned down in a place where they are meant to learn and grow; in a safe space where they are told to play and learn at the same time, is so horrendous it is surly an unquantifiable loss.  

To place this in a bit of prospective I’ve recently seen the statistic that the city of Chicago “had 488 homicides this year…The Iraq war alone has a conservative estimate of civilian deaths at 105,052 from March 2003 to 2012.” That last one would mean that roughly 31 people are killed every day in Iraq. How much is coverage of these deaths is the press giving to these murders, these acts of violence? Can we say really say these deaths are culturally sanctioned because it is a war, like that makes it okay, verse the deaths of these children right here on our door step?

These are big questions and I don’t know if there are answers to them (but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to find some solutions).

As tragic events are want to do this has sparked controversy. The battle over gun control verse personal freedoms is now well on its way. Like same-sex marriage and abortion we all know what the facts are, what the opinions are, and what lies in a moral/ethical gray area. For each individual this gray area is going to look a little different (if it not black or white for someone). Like all controversies, the way to getting to moving beyond the dualism is not by rehashing the same arguments but by finding the systemic roots. I think for gun-control it is not talking about regulations (because of freedom issues) but rather about helping those who have mental illnesses. I believe Hanna Hart (My Drunk Kitchen) says it best on her secondary channel yourharto.

In the cases of mass shootings we need to talk about the issues surrounding the events. In this case access to mental health care for the mentally ill is a key topic. We need to talk about being a bully, what that looks like and how that effects our peers, and accepting and loving people for who they are. We need to encourage and support these individuals to seek counseling and to feel free to talk about what is troubling them, free of judgment.  We need to be creating a culture where it is okay to be different. We need a culture that does not shame the mentally ill or the depressed. I think children, specifically small children, say kindergarteners, can help us adults learn how to be more empathic towards others. This, I believe, can make a huge impact in the amount of violence, specifically physical violence, which is acted out in our society. This will greatly decrease the number of mass shootings.

I do think some of our laws in our country are inherently wrong. I don’t understand why we are free to purchase weapons but not raw milk. I why is it legal for me in Lakeville, MN (a suburb of MLPS/St. Paul) to own several guns but not several chickens? I come from a family of hunters and therefor have many family members who own a number of hunting rifles. This is how they acquire food for their family. This is sustainable and wonderful. Why can I not own a small flock of chickens? Why can I buy tobacco or alcohol but not marijuana? I can eat myself into diabetes, obesity, and oblivion by eating nothing but fast food and potato chips but it is next to impossible to feed myself and my family with local/organic foods. I think we have many freedoms in this country and for that I am glad but the access and ability to nourish ourselves is severely limited to those who have upper-class privilege.

Do we really want a culture where it is easier to destroy ourselves than to nourish, restore, and support each other?

These are questions I think we really need to be asking ourselves, each other, and those who make our laws. I really hope this tragedy will help open our eyes as a nation to how much damage this illusion of autonomy (which is the idea that we are separate from everything i.e. the environment, our food system, our political system, our neighbors) is doing. When we don’t see how much pain and hurting the people in our communities are in, these are the kinds of events that transpire. When we think we are not involved in the lives of other we don’t notice the next door neighbor who is struggling with depression and mental illness. We also don’t notice the family struggling to make ends meet. We don’t see the number of fish in our rivers and lakes are diminishing because of the industrial agriculture chemicals and roadside run off. There are just a few examples but you see what I mean. 
 
I know we can’t go around making sure everybody is okay all the time (I would never ask that of anyone) but we can be more compassionate towards one another for sure. This means not being a judgmental ass-hole or telling someone to just “get over it”. Sometimes people have real problems and telling them to pick themselves up and move on is not the right response and actually worsens their psychological condition on a biological level. I believe we do need to get thicker skins but also we need to be more compassionate. It’s a two way street that leads to greater empowerment and stronger communities.

Now is the time to be with our loved ones. It is almost the winter solstice and I can’t wait to celebrate it with dear friends. I love spending Christmas with my family and will miss my sister while she is in Tulsa, OK. I will see friends on New Year’s and ring in 2013 with hopes and intentions for a brighter more peaceful future.

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